Second version of the essay

Okay – here it is, my big confession: I don’t read the Bible every day!! (I know you must be shocked, because I certainly am.) I should be ashamed of myself.

But now that I’ve made this confession, what do I do next? If I keep saying that I don’t read the Bible to everyone who will hear me, it will be out in the open and I won’t have to pretend anymore. What a relief! Going this route also gives me a great excuse not to change what I have confessed. But it doesn’t satisfy my desire to get closer to God. And I know it’s not the right thing to do.

So how do I start this new habit? Well, at the beginning of 2010 I set out to do this. I started by praying for a yearning to read the Bible. I also set a modest goal of reading one chapter of the New Testament and one Psalm every day. Already I am behind. What else is new? I should be ashamed of myself.

About three years ago, I decided to start exercising regularly for the first time in my life. Let me tell you, it was painful! I had aches in places I didn’t know existed. It was hard to keep going at times. But I had a great coach who talked me through the pain and sweat. She helped me to set small goals, often focusing on just one area at a time. When I wanted to quit, she kept me going. She encouraged me when I fell short and celebrated with me when I saw the results of my hard work. With patience, love and grace she helped me develop the exercise habit.

Reading the Bible is like any worthy goal I set. I start out enthusiastically, and inevitably I mess up. I am ashamed and embarrassed. I think about giving up. But if I listen carefully, I hear a voice of encouragement. I start over. I fall short again, but I pick up where I left off. I start to see results. I praise God for His patience. I keep going. I pray more. I start to miss it when I don’t do it. I forgive myself for not being perfect. I thank God for loving me through the experience of pursuing my goal.

Looking back on the goals I’ve set in my life, I realize that God has constantly been there to guide me via any means He can use, despite my lack of daily Bible reading. What a gift! He must really love me. I can only imagine what wonderful things lay in store for me when I can connect to Him through His word every day. I rejoice that God is with me as I strive to develop my new habit - one chapter, one Psalm at a time.

“My soul is satisfied as with a rich feast, and my mouth praises you with joyful lips when I think of you on my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I sing for joy.” (Psalm 63:5-7 NRSV).

First stab at essay for church Lenten publication

Okay – here it is, my big confession: I don’t read the Bible every day!! (I know you must be shocked, because I certainly am.) I should be ashamed of myself.

But now that I’ve made this confession, what do I do next? My first instinct is to keep confessing that I don’t read the Bible to everyone who will hear me. Once it’s out in the open, I won’t have to pretend anymore. What a relief! Going this route also gives me a great excuse not to pursue changing what I have confessed. But it doesn’t satisfy my desire to get closer to God. And I know it’s not the right thing to do.

The thing is, despite my lack of daily Bible reading, God has continued to bless me and call to me throughout my life via any means He can use. Through music, interactions with children, people he sends at just the right time with just the right thing to say. Through answered prayers and experiences that could only have been possible with the Holy Spirit. I can only imagine what wonderful things lay in store for me when I can connect to Him through His word every day.

So how do I start this new habit? Well, at the beginning of 2010 I set out to do this. I started by praying for a yearning to read the Bible. I also set a modest goal of reading one chapter of the New Testament and one Psalm every day. Already I am behind. What else is new? I should be ashamed of myself.

But then I remember something. About three years ago, I decided to start exercising regularly for the first time in my life. Slowly, but surely, with the help of determination and great coaching by a woman who was able to connect me directly to the Holy Spirit, the daily habit developed. I became more fit physically and spiritually through exercise. I found that I missed exercising when I didn’t do it. But I did not accomplish my goal alone. God was with me through it all.

I know He is with me now, and will help me reach my new goal. It will take determination and some coaching from the Holy Spirit, but I have only to gain from the journey.